








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3238 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1905 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1482 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1484 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,859 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | samppa | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | OsMo | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | The Chosen One | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 46% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tzuggi | 46% | 121 |
| #6 | Timori1 | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | wgg | 43% | 54 |
| #8 | vorss@ | 38% | 137 |
| #9 | Huhta | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Chosen One | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | vorss@ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Huhta | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | wgg | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Timori1 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vorss@ | 381 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | The Chosen One | 357 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tzuggi | 347 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Huhta | 266 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | wgg | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | +3.75 | 86 | 45 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | +2.98 | 95 | 63 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | +0.13 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | M0Mo | -0.10 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | OsMo | -0.29 | 72 | 42 |





