








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2377 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3006 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1945 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,015,808 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 643 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samppa | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | Obama McLaren | 48% | 48 |
| #3 | Timori1 | 46% | 65 |
| #4 | The Chosen One | 45% | 164 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 42% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The Chosen One | 45% | 164 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 42% | 136 |
| #6 | M0Mo | 38% | 137 |
| #7 | wgg | 36% | 90 |
| #8 | Huhta | 34% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wgg | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Huhta | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | M0Mo | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Chosen One | 474 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | M0Mo | 454 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Huhta | 399 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 362 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | wgg | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | +2.65 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | +2.62 | 95 | 64 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | +0.66 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | samppa | -0.31 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | M0Mo | -0.92 | 78 | 62 |





