








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1399 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2647 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2461 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,982,695 of utility $304 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 966 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | M0Mo | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | 57% | 135 |
| #4 | 𝕊𝕞𝟘𝟘𝕥𝕙 | 55% | 108 |
| #5 | The Chosen One | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Huhta | 51% | 35 |
| #8 | wgg | 51% | 83 |
| #9 | vorss@ | 48% | 48 |
| #10 | Jarkkonen | 48% | 40 |
| #11 | 0n5ku | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wgg | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | 0n5ku | 9 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Axl | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Huhta | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzuggi | 417 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | 𝕊𝕞𝟘𝟘𝕥𝕙 | 349 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | wgg | 201 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | M0Mo | 177 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | vorss@ | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | +3.49 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | +2.20 | 97 | 60 |
| #3 | chiken kebab | +1.83 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | -0.45 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | 𝕊𝕞𝟘𝟘𝕥𝕙 | -1.41 | 75 | 58 |





