








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2733 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3100 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3388 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3216 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,461 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | 51% | 83 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | 50% | 70 |
| #3 | OsMo | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | M0Mo | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jarkkonen | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | vorss@ | 36% | 90 |
| #8 | Timori1 | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | Huhta | 30% | 54 |
| #10 | 0n5ku | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Huhta | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Jarkkonen | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | OsMo | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vorss@ | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | The Chosen One | 206 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | M0Mo | 186 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Huhta | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obama McLaren | +4.93 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | +2.91 | 97 | 65 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | +1.64 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | OsMo | +1.21 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | M0Mo | -0.51 | 72 | 61 |





