








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 852 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2386 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3625 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2688 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,542,625 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 900 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waluigi | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | alice | 62% | 338 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 57% | 357 |
| #4 | Ani | 57% | 421 |
| #5 | BotBobanomics | 56% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ani | 57% | 421 |
| #5 | BotBobanomics | 56% | 57 |
| #6 | The Bowler | 56% | 207 |
| #7 | KiteTown | 53% | 203 |
| #8 | ✪Vince✪ | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ani | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | The Bowler | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | alice | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | KiteTown | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphaOwl | 932 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | Ani | 755 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #3 | alice | 511 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #4 | The Bowler | 483 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | KiteTown | 265 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | +5.08 | 92 | 51 |
| #2 | alice | +1.94 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | -0.79 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Ani | -1.22 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | KiteTown | -1.77 | 72 | 47 |





