








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3538 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5528 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3073 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6246 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,750 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waluigi | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | Xman0311 | 62% | 338 |
| #3 | BotBobanomics | 61% | 122 |
| #4 | Ani | 61% | 290 |
| #5 | AlphaOwl | 61% | 413 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ani | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | AlphaOwl | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | BotBobanomics | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | The Bowler | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphaOwl | 1125 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | Ani | 478 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 318 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | The Bowler | 273 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | BotBobanomics | 199 | 0.08 | 5 min |





