








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,653 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bowler | 57% | 152 |
| #2 | alice | 57% | 97 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 56% | 109 |
| #4 | Ani | 53% | 184 |
| #5 | Xman0311 | 53% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bowler | 57% | 152 |
| #2 | alice | 57% | 97 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 56% | 109 |
| #4 | Ani | 53% | 184 |
| #5 | Xman0311 | 53% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bowler | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Ani | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | alice | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bowler | 351 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ani | 318 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 287 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Xman0311 | 197 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | alice | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | +4.98 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | alice | +1.09 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | -0.95 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | KiteTown | -1.51 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Ani | -1.55 | 75 | 51 |





