








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2463 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,442 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alice | 57% | 110 |
| #2 | KiteTown | 57% | 152 |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 56% | 207 |
| #4 | Ani | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | AlphaOwl | 55% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alice | 57% | 110 |
| #2 | KiteTown | 57% | 152 |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 56% | 207 |
| #4 | Ani | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | AlphaOwl | 55% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ani | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Xman0311 | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | alice | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ani | 350 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | AlphaOwl | 289 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Xman0311 | 211 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | KiteTown | 211 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | alice | 148 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | +5.19 | 94 | 52 |
| #2 | alice | +2.02 | 86 | 44 |
| #3 | Ani | -1.52 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | AlphaOwl | -1.55 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | KiteTown | -1.64 | 72 | 47 |





