








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4064 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1175 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,286,162 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alice | 61% | 290 |
| #2 | BotBobanomics | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 59% | 261 |
| #4 | Xman0311 | 57% | 421 |
| #5 | The Bowler | 55% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xman0311 | 57% | 421 |
| #5 | The Bowler | 55% | 186 |
| #6 | KiteTown | 53% | 184 |
| #7 | ✪Vince✪ | 49% | 39 |
| #8 | Jakk O'Donnell | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | The Bowler | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Jakk O'Donnell | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | alice | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | KiteTown | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphaOwl | 655 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | The Bowler | 418 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | alice | 405 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Xman0311 | 396 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jakk O'Donnell | 260 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | +5.03 | 92 | 51 |
| #2 | alice | +1.89 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | Jakk O'Donnell | +0.52 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | Ani | -0.82 | 76 | 51 |
| #5 | AlphaOwl | -1.05 | 63 | 63 |





