








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 990 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1696 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,204 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WantSomeRice? | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | pepsiman | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Mopokari 4 | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Tassu | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Hkne | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mopokari 4 | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Tassu | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Hkne | 46% | 78 |
| #6 | Mane$I | 45% | 77 |
| #7 | hey y'all Scott here | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mane$I | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Tassu | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Hkne | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | WantSomeRice? | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | hey y'all Scott here | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 276 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mane$I | 184 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hkne | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | WantSomeRice? | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | pepsiman | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivesmaister | +3.31 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | Tassu | +0.51 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Hkne | -0.26 | 53 | 46 |
| #4 | pepsiman | -0.44 | 49 | 45 |
| #5 | Mopokari 4 | -1.82 | 40 | 43 |





