








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 362 | 14% |
| Smokes | 556 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 713 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 900 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,493 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaleCrow | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Domitro Dimitris cousin | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | PilluMies321 | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | pepsiman | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Hkne | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Tassu | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | hey y'all Scott here | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Niketiini | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | J 1 T | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | WeedCunt | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivesmaister | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tassu | 92 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | ScaleCrow | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Niketiini | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | J 1 T | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilluMies321 | +10.27 | 94 | 38 |
| #2 | Domitro Dimitris cousin | +8.56 | 90 | 35 |
| #3 | Niketiini | +4.49 | 81 | 73 |
| #4 | Kivesmaister | +3.33 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | J 1 T | +2.82 | 64 | 56 |





