








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2961 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2636 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,829 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivesmaister | 49% | 99 |
| #2 | WantSomeRice? | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | hey y'all Scott here | 45% | 232 |
| #4 | Mopokari 4 | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Mane$I | 45% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hkne | 43% | 219 |
| #7 | Niketiini | 43% | 154 |
| #8 | pepsiman | 42% | 192 |
| #9 | covidmeister | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | Lapanen | 13% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hkne | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Mane$I | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Niketiini | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | hey y'all Scott here | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | WantSomeRice? | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mane$I | 476 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Niketiini | 345 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hkne | 271 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kivesmaister | 240 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | WantSomeRice? | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kivesmaister | +3.62 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Niketiini | +3.49 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Tassu | +0.62 | 62 | 62 |
| #4 | pepsiman | -0.48 | 44 | 37 |
| #5 | covidmeister | -1.16 | 67 | 62 |





