








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1707 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1919 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1888 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,964 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopokari 4 | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Kivesmaister | 46% | 78 |
| #3 | hey y'all Scott here | 45% | 190 |
| #4 | Mane$I | 44% | 120 |
| #5 | pepsiman | 44% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mane$I | 44% | 120 |
| #5 | pepsiman | 44% | 177 |
| #6 | Tassu | 43% | 219 |
| #7 | Niketiini | 42% | 127 |
| #8 | WantSomeRice? | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Niketiini | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Mane$I | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | WantSomeRice? | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | pepsiman | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 571 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Mane$I | 298 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Niketiini | 256 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kivesmaister | 187 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | pepsiman | 80 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niketiini | +3.77 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Kivesmaister | +3.21 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Tassu | +0.92 | 63 | 62 |
| #4 | pepsiman | +0.10 | 47 | 36 |
| #5 | Hkne | -1.08 | 44 | 45 |





