








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




223 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4671 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4938 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2534 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5827 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,021,831 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Boo Wh00 | 43% | 53 |
| #11 | Devils | 43% | 54 |
| #12 | Trid | 35% | 97 |
| #13 | Muscular Little Kid | 26% | 50 |
| #14 | BigBootyMichael | 20% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdma | 81 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 73 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | omizzzle | 62 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | Trid | 56 | 0.0302 |
| #5 | nLeo | 26 | 0.0158 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trid | 449 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | mdma | 439 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 411 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Washed Chuwie | 267 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Boo Wh00 | 233 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLeo | +3.46 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | mdma | +3.42 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | +3.07 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Boo Wh00 | +2.50 | 50 | 78 |
| #5 | Devils | +1.93 | 75 | 52 |





