








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3875 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3925 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,656,680 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nleo1337 | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | qacha | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Devils | 59% | 114 |
| #4 | omizzzle | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | DONTpeekME | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Trid | 53% | 148 |
| #9 | LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE | 51% | 61 |
| #10 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 49% | 245 |
| #11 | SoldACat4Ket | 48% | 81 |
| #12 | Washed Chuwie | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 38 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | SoldACat4Ket | 31 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Trid | 26 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Devils | 20 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | nleo1337 | 17 | 0.0291 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boo Wh00 | 588 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 470 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Trid | 416 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Zucc | 407 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Devils | 356 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLeo | +2.26 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE | +1.71 | 94 | 56 |
| #3 | Zucc | +1.65 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | Boo Wh00 | +1.14 | 50 | 81 |
| #5 | Washed Chuwie | +0.71 | 79 | 52 |





