








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4490 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6271 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4785 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6303 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,466,933 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DONTpeekME | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE | 55% | 113 |
| #3 | Zucc | 54% | 103 |
| #4 | Boo Wh00 | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | bozo | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoldACat4Ket | 64 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Trid | 51 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | omizzzle | 49 | 0.0232 |
| #4 | nLeo | 31 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Devils | 10 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trid | 696 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | Boo Wh00 | 595 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | SoldACat4Ket | 391 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zucc | 360 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | nLeo | 344 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE | +2.78 | 94 | 53 |
| #2 | bozo | +2.10 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | nLeo | +2.06 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | Zucc | +1.94 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | +1.69 | 68 | 54 |





