








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5576 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3522 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3247 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3458 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,524,301 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Boo Wh00 | 50% | 101 |
| #9 | LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLAMIDE | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | Devils | 46% | 28 |
| #11 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 44% | 189 |
| #12 | SoldACat4Ket | 35% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoldACat4Ket | 56 | 0.0304 |
| #2 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 49 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | nLeo | 22 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | mdma | 19 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | nleo1337 | 18 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boo Wh00 | 517 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | METHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | 386 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Zucc | 325 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | nLeo | 246 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | SoldACat4Ket | 193 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nleo1337 | +2.23 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | Boo | +2.14 | 44 | 75 |
| #3 | mdma | +1.99 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Zucc | +1.76 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | nLeo | +1.27 | 71 | 52 |





