










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 996 | 33% |
| Smokes | 584 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 338 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,607 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PreppieAcorn78 | 59% | 86 |
| #2 | Levi | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Mr.NiceGuy | 57% | 69 |
| #4 | lonely | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Fat Bitch | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bobert | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Olive_Leaf | 50% | 46 |
| #8 | Tee | 49% | 63 |
| #9 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | tang | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olive_Leaf | 19 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | PreppieAcorn78 | 17 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Mr.NiceGuy | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Fat Bitch | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 6 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.NiceGuy | 140 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | tang | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | PreppieAcorn78 | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fat Bitch | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tee | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.NiceGuy | +7.55 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Fat Bitch | +7.20 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | lonely | +4.28 | 82 | 11 |
| #4 | tang | +4.09 | 87 | 67 |
| #5 | Levi | +2.75 | 48 | 26 |





