








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2548 | 41% |
| Smokes | 926 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1648 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1166 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,786 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Meat𐂃 | 39 | 0.0327 |
| #2 | Schwäble-Bub | 15 | 0.0439 |
| #3 | Faisal | 12 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | xXxpoosislayerxXxZ | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | TEMPORALIS | 9 | 0.0295 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Meat𐂃 | 304 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Faisal | 148 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | yuqs | 119 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | TEMPORALIS | 102 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #5 | 猎刚猪 | 73 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEMPORALIS | +5.01 | 59 | 74 |
| #2 | yuqs | +4.92 | 71 | 79 |
| #3 | Faisal | +4.84 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | brooding in their castle | +3.73 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | +2.62 | 64 | 70 |





