








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 885 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3440 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2958 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7257 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,716,752 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1837 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR MEE6 | 57% | 108 |
| #2 | lucida | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | Faisal | 53% | 262 |
| #4 | brooding in their castle | 53% | 113 |
| #5 | TEMPORALIS | 52% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisal | 81 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | White Meatπ | 81 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | yuqs | 67 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | TEMPORALIS | 53 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | MR MEE6 | 46 | 0.0215 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisal | 1032 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | ηεηͺ | 1029 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #3 | TEMPORALIS | 967 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #4 | White Meatπ | 911 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #5 | yuqs | 794 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | +5.06 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | TEMPORALIS | +4.64 | 68 | 81 |
| #3 | Faisal | +4.62 | 66 | 76 |
| #4 | White Meatπ | +3.56 | 66 | 74 |
| #5 | SchwΓ€ble-Bub | +3.09 | 70 | 51 |





