








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 358 | 18% |
| Smokes | 442 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 658 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,836 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGER WEAPONS | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | MR MEE6 | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Faisal | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | White Meat𐂃 | 37% | 43 |
| #5 | Sleepin.ponyo | 35% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | LightZ | 24% | 34 |
| #12 | TEMPORALIS | 15% | 13 |
| #13 | adrianzuno | 11% | 9 |
| #14 | maisterbaiter | 10% | 10 |
| #15 | Schwäble-Bub | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Meat𐂃 | 23 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | yuqs | 16 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | MR MEE6 | 15 | 0.0429 |
| #4 | Faisal | 14 | 0.0264 |
| #5 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | 12 | 0.0236 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Meat𐂃 | 186 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | yuqs | 144 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | LightZ | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | 125 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sleepin.ponyo | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGER WEAPONS | +4.79 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | Faisal | +4.52 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | yuqs | +4.26 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | MR MEE6 | +3.82 | 67 | 34 |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | +3.73 | 63 | 67 |





