








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4071 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2921 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3013 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,988 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adrianzuno | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | yuqs | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | lucida | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | brooding in their castle | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Schwäble-Bub | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | fuyu | 40% | 52 |
| #14 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | 40% | 25 |
| #15 | LightZ | 33% | 48 |
| #16 | meepupu | 30% | 27 |
| #17 | ADOLF STALIN!! | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR MEE6 | 20 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | adrianzuno | 13 | 0.0285 |
| #3 | Sleepin.ponyo | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 猎刚猪 | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | 10 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猎刚猪 | 333 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sleepin.ponyo | 191 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | LightZ | 187 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | 130 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | lucida | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuqs | +4.05 | 67 | 77 |
| #2 | adrianzuno | +2.93 | 76 | 40 |
| #3 | MR MEE6 | +1.80 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | BabaYoga𐂃𐂃 | +1.12 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | yuqs | +1.05 | 76 | 71 |





