








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5218 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6291 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5758 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5237 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,856,538 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☦Geo777☦ | 73% | 70 |
| #2 | Locke | 67% | 102 |
| #3 | Skander | 59% | 114 |
| #4 | Squid | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Mat™ - ChEmO pEaK | 57% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Islander | 56% | 85 |
| #8 | Luke | 56% | 237 |
| #9 | shoeler | 55% | 129 |
| #10 | Carbon | 53% | 74 |
| #11 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 52% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 40 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | shoeler | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Skander | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Locke | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Squid | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 602 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Squid | 410 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #3 | Skander | 345 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 321 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mat™ - ChEmO pEaK | 314 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squid | +3.44 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Locke | +3.37 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | ☦Geo777☦ | +2.33 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | Mat™ - ChEmO pEaK | +2.15 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | shoeler | +1.41 | 67 | 64 |





