








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 211 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10949 | 21% |
| Smokes | 14602 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12891 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 14679 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,768,365 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1905 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .seth | 74% | 116 |
| #2 | Get A Job | 71% | 115 |
| #3 | Carbon | 70% | 180 |
| #4 | Skander | 67% | 184 |
| #5 | TheDinkster | 67% | 244 |





