








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7145 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6605 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5117 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5412 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,694,251 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☦Geo777☦ | 71% | 220 |
| #2 | Carbon | 70% | 238 |
| #3 | Squid | 69% | 160 |
| #4 | =]]z | 68% | 69 |
| #5 | Baka | 67% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | shoeler | 65% | 326 |
| #11 | Mat™ - ChEmO pEaK | 62% | 174 |
| #12 | Islander | 62% | 73 |
| #13 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 60% | 233 |
| #14 | Sn3aky | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 76 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | shoeler | 29 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Carbon | 29 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ☦Geo777☦ | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 16 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 1267 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | Squid | 1119 | 0.35 | 28 min |
| #3 | Mat™ - ChEmO pEaK | 794 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #4 | Carbon | 698 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #5 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 689 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Locke | +2.21 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | ☦Geo777☦ | +1.88 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | Squid | +1.67 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Luke | +1.38 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | =]]z | +1.14 | 81 | 67 |





