








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15327 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9265 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 9006 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 13476 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,860,081 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walts | 74% | 88 |
| #2 | .seth | 71% | 394 |
| #3 | Islander | 67% | 184 |
| #4 | Locke | 67% | 99 |
| #5 | Get A Job | 66% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Carbon | 61% | 277 |
| #11 | Luke | 60% | 665 |
| #12 | klxnQT | 59% | 114 |
| #13 | shoeler | 56% | 204 |
| #14 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 48% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 146 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | .seth | 34 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | TheDinkster | 34 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ☦Geo777☦ | 32 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | shoeler | 29 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 1758 | 0.14 | 52 min |
| #2 | .seth | 1573 | 0.21 | 45 min |
| #3 | TheDinkster | 1000 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #4 | Squid | 908 | 0.32 | 22 min |
| #5 | Carbon | 900 | 0.16 | 26 min |





