








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3469 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3673 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2380 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1522 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,238,406 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy | 54% | 138 |
| #2 | pissedvegetable | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | booted | 50% | 229 |
| #4 | dray-k | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | phrog | 48% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | booted | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | phrog | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Daddy | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Jerry | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | dray-k | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | booted | 551 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | phrog | 438 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Daddy | 323 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | dray-k | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝚅𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔯 | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Pinkman | +1.36 | 61 | 51 |
| #2 | phrog | +0.50 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | Daddy | -0.10 | 55 | 62 |
| #4 | booted | -0.59 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | dray-k | -1.10 | 73 | 66 |





