








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 33% |
| Smokes | 444 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 277 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 409 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,949 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepy | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | zack | 54% | 81 |
| #3 | Gulf | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | sn0t | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gulf | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | sn0t | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Metro | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | setzy | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | sleepy | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Gulf | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Metro | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | setzy | 2 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 378 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gulf | 343 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | sleepy | 201 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Metro | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 60 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +3.53 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | epicsockzebra | +2.21 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | sn0t | +1.92 | 89 | 48 |
| #4 | setzy | +0.81 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | Metro | +0.31 | 83 | 62 |





