








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1085 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 447 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10926 | 42% |
| Smokes | 8214 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2817 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4122 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,968,953 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parrycrazy | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | sleepy | 59% | 259 |
| #3 | zack | 56% | 468 |
| #4 | Metro | 54% | 261 |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 54% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | setzy | 53% | 134 |
| #7 | Nuke | 52% | 58 |
| #8 | sn0t | 52% | 66 |
| #9 | knxwledge | 51% | 57 |
| #10 | Window Licker #pride | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 22 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | setzy | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | sleepy | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Metro | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Window Licker #pride | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 1789 | 0.18 | 47 min |
| #2 | sleepy | 1248 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #3 | Metro | 811 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | setzy | 599 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 425 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +3.08 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | epicsockzebra | +0.65 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Gulf | +0.33 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | Metro | +0.25 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | setzy | -0.33 | 71 | 64 |





