








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 279 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4045 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3314 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3795 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,134 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parrycrazy | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | sleepy | 57% | 145 |
| #3 | zack | 55% | 243 |
| #4 | Gulf | 54% | 261 |
| #5 | setzy | 53% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | knxwledge | 52% | 62 |
| #9 | epicsockzebra | 49% | 76 |
| #10 | sn0t | 44% | 18 |
| #11 | flxp | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | Nuke | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Gulf | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | sleepy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | setzy | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | knxwledge | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulf | 1553 | 0.27 | 39 min |
| #2 | zack | 978 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #3 | sleepy | 736 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #4 | setzy | 368 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 290 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +2.89 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | epicsockzebra | +0.79 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Window Licker #pride | +0.56 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Gn4rly Nobody | +0.52 | 49 | 60 |
| #5 | Metro | +0.51 | 83 | 65 |





