








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 970 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 319 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6683 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4177 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4320 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4508 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,667,333 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parrycrazy | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | sleepy | 58% | 299 |
| #3 | Window Licker #pride | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Gulf | 56% | 468 |
| #5 | Metro | 55% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | epicsockzebra | 54% | 119 |
| #8 | setzy | 53% | 135 |
| #9 | Dirty Dangles | 51% | 43 |
| #10 | flxp | 48% | 33 |
| #11 | sn0t | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | setzy | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Gulf | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | sleepy | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Metro | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Dirty Dangles | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulf | 2564 | 0.26 | 64 min |
| #2 | sleepy | 1429 | 0.22 | 40 min |
| #3 | Metro | 737 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #4 | setzy | 580 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 471 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +3.40 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | epicsockzebra | +0.61 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Gulf | +0.17 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | Metro | +0.16 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | setzy | -0.12 | 72 | 64 |





