








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1695 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,613 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parrycrazy | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | zack | 54% | 119 |
| #3 | Gulf | 54% | 110 |
| #4 | setzy | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | sleepy | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | setzy | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | sleepy | 52% | 58 |
| #6 | Metro | 49% | 76 |
| #7 | Nuke | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | sn0t | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Gulf | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Metro | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulf | 721 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #2 | zack | 428 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | sleepy | 263 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Metro | 198 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | setzy | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +2.73 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | epicsockzebra | +0.71 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | setzy | -0.29 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | Gulf | -0.52 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Metro | -0.81 | 83 | 69 |





