








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2208 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1198 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,115 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 520 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepy | 54% | 108 |
| #2 | Metro | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | zack | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | Gulf | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gulf | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | Dirty Dangles | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | flxp | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Nuke | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Gulf | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | sleepy | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Dirty Dangles | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulf | 858 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | zack | 569 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | sleepy | 538 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | Metro | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | epicsockzebra | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zack | +2.97 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | Gulf | +0.27 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | Metro | +0.03 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | epicsockzebra | -0.08 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | setzy | -0.14 | 72 | 64 |





