








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6488 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4452 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3753 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,878 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 871 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadowmenace | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | Johnny219 | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | dink | 64% | 58 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Timbaboe | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dink | 64% | 58 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Timbaboe | 53% | 45 |
| #6 | M I L K | 51% | 39 |
| #7 | Zen1th | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen1th | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen1th | 159 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Timbaboe | 159 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | dink | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johnny219 | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | shadowmenace | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +2.62 | 89 | 47 |
| #2 | Peckers | +2.02 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Johnny219 | +1.92 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | shadowmenace | +1.33 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | dink | +1.22 | 91 | 50 |





