








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2083 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1716 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1192 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2136 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,593 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv/icee_lahp | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Peckers | 64% | 58 |
| #4 | shadowmenace | 60% | 131 |
| #5 | Just Jesse | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny219 | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Lonely Potat | 9 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | shadowmenace | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ttv/icee_lahp | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | M I L K | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv/icee_lahp | 477 | 0.49 | 13 min |
| #2 | Johnny219 | 475 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Peckers | 358 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #4 | shadowmenace | 343 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | 守株待兔 | 172 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +3.37 | 88 | 42 |
| #2 | Johnny219 | +2.39 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | dink | +1.37 | 90 | 50 |
| #4 | shadowmenace | +0.94 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | ttv/icee_lahp | +0.81 | 80 | 74 |





