








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 253 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3612 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3175 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2503 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2828 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,961 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yom | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | ttv/icee_lahp | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | Peckers | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | dink | 59% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dink | 59% | 129 |
| #6 | FRAQ-KTR | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | shadowmenace | 57% | 243 |
| #8 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 55% | 38 |
| #9 | 守株待兔 | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadowmenace | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | yom | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ttv/icee_lahp | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | dink | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadowmenace | 696 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | ttv/icee_lahp | 513 | 0.47 | 14 min |
| #3 | dink | 327 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | 守株待兔 | 274 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Peckers | 262 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny219 | +2.78 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | ttv/icee_lahp | +1.02 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | shadowmenace | +0.65 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | Peckers | +0.39 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | +0.20 | 73 | 78 |





