








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3058 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2541 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2496 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,250,144 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Arizona Ranger | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | M I L K | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | jeden | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | TzTok-Cortunix | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Peckers | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeden | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | TzTok-Cortunix | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Peckers | 38% | 52 |
| #6 | focus | 23% | 22 |
| #7 | Timbaboe | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peckers | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | focus | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | TzTok-Cortunix | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | The Arizona Ranger | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peckers | 271 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | TzTok-Cortunix | 110 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | focus | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | jeden | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Timbaboe | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +4.72 | 88 | 44 |
| #2 | Peckers | +1.88 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | TzTok-Cortunix | +1.49 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | The Arizona Ranger | +0.78 | 83 | 41 |
| #5 | jeden | +0.44 | 89 | 62 |





