








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2038 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1515 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2220 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,324 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | M I L K | 61% | 49 |
| #9 | Billy Bread | 58% | 12 |
| #10 | Peckers | 53% | 45 |
| #11 | focus | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | Zen1th | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drugga | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | 1,000 Denials | 6 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | :> | 5 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | M I L K | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Lonely Potat | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peckers | 223 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | 1,000 Denials | 146 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | Drugga | 142 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | M I L K | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zen1th | 66 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +2.50 | 86 | 38 |
| #2 | Timbaboe | +2.20 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | obeebi | +1.58 | 87 | 44 |
| #4 | Peckers | +1.19 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | Billy Bread | +1.07 | 69 | 69 |





