








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2334 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2343 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2000 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2750 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,004 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill Withers | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | zoopr3me | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | El Nainツ | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | floorine | 53% | 95 |
| #5 | raymer | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | El Nainツ | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | floorine | 53% | 95 |
| #5 | raymer | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | ⛟ 4me | 44% | 57 |
| #7 | Catman933 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floorine | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ⛟ 4me | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | El Nainツ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Catman933 | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | raymer | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floorine | 342 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | ⛟ 4me | 159 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Catman933 | 112 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | raymer | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | zoopr3me | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hound | +1.47 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | El Nainツ | +1.18 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | Bill Withers | +1.08 | 36 | 40 |
| #4 | floorine | -0.00 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | Catman933 | -0.33 | 78 | 73 |





