








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2507 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2361 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2027 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,436 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gug | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | VULLLGURツ | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | El Nainツ | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | zoopr3me | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Pungents | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | zoopr3me | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Pungents | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Hound | 44% | 57 |
| #7 | floorine | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | Jackal | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Nainツ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | VULLLGURツ | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Hound | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | zoopr3me | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | floorine | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Nainツ | 253 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | VULLLGURツ | 176 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | zoopr3me | 153 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | floorine | 150 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pungents | 142 | 0.45 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungents | +3.36 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | gug | +1.81 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | Hound | +1.58 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | El Nainツ | +1.52 | 88 | 62 |
| #5 | VULLLGURツ | +1.18 | 84 | 66 |





