








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3166 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3281 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1955 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2418 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,578 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Nainツ | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | zoopr3me | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Hound | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | raymer | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Browniee | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | raymer | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Browniee | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | ⛟ 4me | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | Catman933 | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | Jas | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hound | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Jas | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | ⛟ 4me | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Catman933 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | El Nainツ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hound | 249 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Catman933 | 155 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | raymer | 143 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Browniee | 104 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | ⛟ 4me | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Nainツ | +1.86 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Hound | +1.05 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | Browniee | +1.04 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | floorine | +0.80 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | ⛟ 4me | +0.05 | 80 | 69 |





