








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 829 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4504 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2911 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 7839 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 3941 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,900,680 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 92% | 74 |
| #2 | !Maple67 | 91% | 111 |
| #3 | BigDickDonny | 88% | 91 |
| #4 | Jake ⚡ | 88% | 244 |
| #5 | DooMe | 88% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer18+ | 38 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Jetz | 26 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Deckard Cain45 | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Grundy | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | RNCsubco | 11 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duh Moose | 1421 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #2 | Jake ⚡ | 1125 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #3 | Grundy | 594 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | RNCsubco | 450 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jetz | 319 | 0.06 | 6 min |





