








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2288 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2767 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2798 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2877 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,524 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EX | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | floorine | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | VULLLGURツ | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Kentai | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Hound | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ 4me | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | zoopr3me | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Hound | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | VULLLGURツ | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | floorine | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ 4me | 338 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | zoopr3me | 191 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | floorine | 106 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | EX | 102 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hound | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentai | +2.65 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | EX | +2.37 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | El Nainツ | +1.39 | 88 | 64 |
| #4 | floorine | +1.09 | 76 | 81 |
| #5 | Hound | +0.88 | 79 | 69 |





