








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2775 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5727 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3951 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5004 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,850,819 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2061 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaj. | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | Omega Blurz | 63% | 104 |
| #3 | May | 63% | 95 |
| #4 | Kara | 62% | 61 |
| #5 | Yuki <3 | 58% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mococo Abyssgard | 55% | 78 |
| #10 | cheaster | 54% | 68 |
| #11 | Alex | 54% | 50 |
| #12 | Fynises | 53% | 83 |
| #13 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 20 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | cheaster | 16 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | p4905 | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kara | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Chaj. | 7 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | 845 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Mococo Abyssgard | 240 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Yuki <3 | 191 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Omega Blurz | 163 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +4.80 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Anything | +3.13 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +2.70 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | Alex | +1.41 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | Yuki <3 | +1.38 | 50 | 66 |





