








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1993 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1917 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2345 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,286,240 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaj. | 83% | 29 |
| #2 | Omega Blurz | 69% | 35 |
| #3 | p4905 | 67% | 166 |
| #4 | Mococo Abyssgard | 63% | 68 |
| #5 | cheaster | 63% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | May | 62% | 82 |
| #7 | Fynises | 61% | 49 |
| #8 | Mula Hwaka | 57% | 97 |
| #9 | Yuki <3 | 56% | 41 |
| #10 | Katie | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | cheaster | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Katie | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Mula Hwaka | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | p4905 | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | 497 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mococo Abyssgard | 202 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mula Hwaka | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yuki <3 | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Omega Blurz | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +4.91 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Anything | +3.35 | 83 | 45 |
| #3 | Katie | +2.43 | 92 | 12 |
| #4 | Mococo Abyssgard | +1.93 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | May | +0.82 | 71 | 35 |





