








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4395 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4126 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2875 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3493 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,633 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D B Cooper | 72% | 60 |
| #2 | Kencha | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | Shotgun Jesus | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | EagleEye<o> | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | Soy Un Dorito | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4R5H4 | 15 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Arnold Shivajinagar | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | EagleEye<o> | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Kencha | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Soy Un Dorito | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fluffmeister | +5.27 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | Boosted Nova | +2.21 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Shotgun Jesus | +2.11 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | D B Cooper | +0.97 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | Arnold Shivajinagar | +0.62 | 84 | 50 |





