








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 38% |
| Smokes | 316 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 202 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,689 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cute catboy | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | AncientDrip | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | crunchy | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Clmet1a | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Clmet1a | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 33% | 18 |
| #6 | Zekken | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | Zekken | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Rigel | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 7 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | crunchy | 5 | 0.0265 |
| #3 | Clmet1a | 5 | 0.0450 |
| #4 | Cute catboy | 4 | 0.0284 |
| #5 | Zekken | 2 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | AncientDrip | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | crunchy | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Clmet1a | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zekken | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zekken | +3.56 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | Cute catboy | +3.31 | 75 | 35 |
| #3 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | +2.47 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | AncientDrip | +2.10 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Clmet1a | +1.27 | 54 | 45 |





