








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 28% |
| Smokes | 940 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,730 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Number 1 Nyanners Fan | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Pleesuls | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | crunchy | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Dankest Banana | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Number 1 Finana Ryugu Fan | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Number 1 Finana Ryugu Fan | 60% | 15 |
| #6 | The Assman | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Number 1 Pomu Rainpuff Fan | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | Clmet1a | 30% | 10 |
| #9 | Rigel | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Number 1 Finana Ryugu Fan | 5 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | The Assman | 3 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Dankest Banana | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Clmet1a | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Number 1 Pomu Rainpuff Fan | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Number 1 Finana Ryugu Fan | 53 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | The Assman | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Number 1 Pomu Rainpuff Fan | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Number 1 Nyanners Fan | 16 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rigel | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cute catboy | +2.71 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Number 1 Nyanners Fan | +2.41 | 54 | 54 |
| #3 | Number 1 Pomu Rainpuff Fan | +1.88 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | Clmet1a | +1.28 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | The Assman | +0.46 | 45 | 64 |





