








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 847 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1992 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1320 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2468 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2738 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,563 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The Assman | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Émk | 42% | 50 |
| #6 | Zekken | 40% | 35 |
| #7 | Mr. Fanning | 34% | 155 |
| #8 | Shader | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AncientDrip | +3.91 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | The Assman | +2.55 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | Zekken | +1.58 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Backslash | -0.57 | 65 | 34 |
| #5 | Shader | -0.71 | 89 | 41 |





