








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1013 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2188 | 24% |
| Smokes | 833 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 3495 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2593 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,803 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 974 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Apbowler | 38% | 37 |
| #9 | Xardles | 35% | 72 |
| #10 | mariatchi | 31% | 139 |
| #11 | pp | 22% | 119 |
| #12 | Kyuu | 20% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 23 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | mariatchi | 21 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Xardles | 19 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Sayo | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | MAKSI152 | 13 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 900 | 0.38 | 21 min |
| #2 | mariatchi | 571 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | Sayo | 354 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | MAKSI152 | 344 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #5 | Xardles | 221 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THAI MING | +2.29 | 61 | 43 |
| #2 | Apbowler | +1.70 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | radi karakolev | +1.52 | 72 | 40 |
| #4 | ZE | +1.25 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | MAKSI152 | +0.78 | 62 | 57 |





